“Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.” – Wayne Dyer
There are many words to describe how we feel about ourselves: self-love, self-esteem, self-compassion, self-acceptance, self-respect, self-confidence, self-care, and so on. But the foundation, and what may be the most vital “self-” concept of them all is self-worth.
What is self-worth?
The dictionary defines self-worth as having a sense of one’s own value or worth as a person. It’s the feeling of being good enough and the level of importance we place on ourselves.
Self worth comes from within and is a fundamental part of our being. The way we think, what we believe, the emotions we feel, and even the way we act, is a product of the value we place on ourselves.
What Determines Self-Worth?
Most people tend to measure their self-worth by the following factors:
- Approval from others – you care/don’t care if other people have a negative opinion of you.
- Physical appearance – your self-esteem is influenced by how attractive you think are.
- Net worth – this can mean income, financial assets, material possessions, or all of these.
- Occupation – for example, a doctor is often considered more successful than a janitor or waitress. This can add positive or negative importance to your life.
- Who you know – your self-worth is influenced by your status, social circle, and the number of important and influential people you know.
- You achievements – you determine your self-worth by what you achieve, such as success in business, score on SATs, or placement in an athletic challenge.
- Outdoing others in competition – your self-worth is affected by how well you do when you’re competing with others.
- Academic competence – you feel bad about yourself whenever your academic performance is lacking.
- Family love and support – your self-worth is influenced by the quality of your relationships with your family members.
- Being a virtuous or moral person – your self-esteem depends on whether or not you follow your moral/ethical principles.
- God’s love – your self-esteem would suffer if you didn’t have God’s love.
The Importance of Self-Worth
On a practical level, knowing your self-worth impacts your behavior, the things you do and the choices you make. When you have a strong sense of self-worth, you start rejecting anything that has a negative effect on your outlook on life, and you become more open to things that contribute to your happiness and overall well-being. Self-worth is what keeps you feeling satisfied even without others approval, your achievements, assets, and possessions.
On a spiritual level, knowing your self-worth connects you with Spirit and honors the Divine within you. Also, it is a key component to creating a life you love (that’s a topic for another post).
Boosting Your Self-Worth
There are things you can do to boost your sense of self-worth and ensure you value yourself as a complete, wonderful person that is deserving of love and respect, no matter what.
What is required to feel good about yourself is not the same for each person. It’s important to discover what makes you feel worthy, confident and happy about who you are.
Below is a list of tips to start you on your path of self-discovery and increasing your feeling of self-worth.
1. Know Who You Are
Self-worth means knowing you are a part of the Divine. You are a spiritual being in a physical body. You are an extension of Source Energy and have come to earth to serve a special purpose that only you can fulfill. As Karen Curry Parker says, “You are a once in a lifetime cosmic event.” You are unique, and special, and deeply loved by Spirit. If you want to know more about who you are and what your soul’s plan is for this lifetime, I highly recommend you explore your Human Design.
2. Stand In Your Power
Self-worth means taking responsibility for yourself, your circumstances and even your problems. Acknowledge that you have the personal power to change and influence the events and circumstances in your life. Remind yourself of what you have learned through all of your past experiences and know that you have the power in your own life.
3. Stand Up For Yourself
Self-worth means making conscious choices about how you feel and act when someone makes you sad or angry. If someone belittles you and makes you feel bad, you can end up focusing so much on their feelings that you lose track of your own. You might be afraid that if you stand up for yourself, you will lose their love. Some people are quite convincing that you are in the wrong when you do stand up for your beliefs. Blaming others will always take away your power. Instead of reacting, stand in your power and thank them silently for providing you with the opportunity to become strong, for often strength is developed in the face of opposition.
4. Honor How You Feel
Self-worth means paying attention to your feelings and letting go of the need to analyze or question them. Honor your feelings and let them feelings be real for you. You don’t need reasons why you choose to do something and you don’t need to prove anything to another person about your worth. You may tend to allow other people to be the authority of what is good for you. When they say you are bad or things are your fault, you believe them. You don’t necessarily have to ignore what other people say either, but honor how you feel. It’s one thing to be open to constructive criticism and another to try constantly to do what others want you to do when you don’t want it for yourself. Creating self-worth involves honoring your own feelings, path and direction. It means honoring yourself with your words, actions, and behavior.
5. Believe in Yourself
Self-worth means believing in yourself and knowing that you’re doing the best you can at the time. It involves making yourself right rather than wrong and allowing yourself to feel good about who you are. You might be trying hard all the time, pushing yourself, rushing around and feeling that whatever you do, it’s not enough. It feels good when other people believe in you, trust you, and support you. Yet, if you want to be powerful, it’s important not to need other people to do so as a condition of believing in yourself. The need for constant validation makes other people the authority and not your own true self.
6. Live By Your Values
Self-worth means respecting yourself at the highest levels and comes from honoring your soul. This means speaking and acting from a level of integrity and honesty that reflects your higher self. It means standing by what you believe in (you do not, however, have to convince others to believe in it), and acting in a way that reflects your values. Ask yourself what you value. It is difficult to feel good about yourself if you are living in a way that goes against your underlying values. It is important to examine your values and either live by them or change them.
7. Respect Yourself
Self-worth means respecting yourself even when others do not. Let go of the need for them to respect you or treat you in a more positive way. They won’t until you treat yourself with respect. However, no matter how good you feel about yourself, there still might be those who don’t treat you in a respectful way. In this case, it’s because they have not learned how to treat themselves in a loving way. If you do find yourself around those kinds of people, act with dignity and remember that they are not respecting you because they do not respect themselves. Release any anger you may feel, simply let it go and focus on other things. Others only take advantage of you and take you for granted if you let them.
8. Respect Others
Self-worth means respecting yourself and also respecting others. Watch the energy you put out to other people, for whatever you put out you will get back. Become more aware of your effect on other people, for the more you respect them, the more you will receive respect. Honor their worth, their time, and their values, and you will find them honoring yours.
9. Release Blame
Self-worth means releasing the blame of others. You might feel your parents or others in your life are responsible for your lack of self-worth because of the way they treated you. Rather than feeling sorry for yourself or feeling like a victim of your experiences, realize your soul chose to put you in that situation to learn something that would assist your growth. One of the lessons you may have come to learn in this lifetime is how to love and honor yourself, so you created situations that challenged yourself to do so. As soon as you decide to love and honor yourself, the pattern will end.
10. Have Self-Compassion
Self-worth means having self-compassion which involves treating yourself the way you would treat a friend who is having a hard time. Self-compassion is the ability to turn understanding, acceptance, and love inward, and being kind to yourself instead of being critical in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering. Remember and remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and it is part of the human experience.
11. Love and Accept Yourself
Self-worth comes from being willing to acknowledge who you are and love yourself just as you are right now. It is difficult to change until you accept who you are. When you honor yourself and your feelings, other people’s judgments and opinions cannot affect you. You are a worthy person, no mater your past, no matter your thoughts, no matter who believes in you. You are life itself, growing, expanding, and evolving. All people are valuable, beautiful, and unique. Every experience you have is meant to teach you more about creating love in your life.
12. Honor Your Truth
Self-worth means honoring your truth even though it may not be the same as other people’s truth. The only wrong is when you do not honor your truth and accept what is true for another even though it is not true for you. Whatever beliefs you hold, it is important that you honor them and be open to new ways of seeing things if they create more joy in your life. Don’t automatically accept something unless it has the ring of truth for you. Honor your truth, believe in and stand up for yourself, but remember to also have compassion for other people.
13. Be Generous to Yourself
Self-worth means being generous to yourself. Give yourself time to do things that matter to you. Think of ways to pamper yourself and treat yourself like the special person you are every day. Include something that feels like a luxury. End negative self-talk and give yourself lots of compliments instead. Stop saving the good stuff – clothes, candles, dishes, etc for someday. Use them now! Surround yourself with positive reminders of why life is good and display items that makes your heart happy. Create an environment that’s feels good, is beautiful, sustains your soul, and makes you feel nurtured and loved.
14. Honor Your Divinity
Self-worth means honoring the spiritual being that you are. Take time to build a relationship with Spirit/God/Higher Self and let that part of you help you remember your value so you can take your right place in the cosmic plan. Remember that you count, you are important, and that you have a unique and special contribution to make to the world. Know that you are a special being. Your dreams, fantasies, and goals are as important as those of anyone else.
15. Heal Your Self-worth
Self-worth means releasing and healing anything that does not contribute to your feelings of self-worth. This can be done in a number of ways including coaching, EFT Tapping, chakra balancing, and affirmations. Ask yourself, “What needs to be healed, released, aligned and brought to my awareness for me to fully acknowledge my value and self-worth?” You don’t need to answer this question yourself. Allow your Higher Self to bring you the answer, then take any inspired action that is needed to increase your feeling of self-worth.
16. Practice Self-Care
Self-worth means taking an active role in nurturing yourself and your own well-being, pursuing happiness, and taking the time to rest, play, think, and take quiet time for yourself. Practicing self-care and doing things that feel good to you not only improves your mental and physical health, it also boosts your sense of self-worth. You are making yourself a priority and showing yourself that you are important. Allow yourself to follow your inner flow and honor what feels good for you.
Remember that you are special so aim high and surround yourself with those who see your value, who love you, who respect you, who encourage you and lift you to a higher level. Know your worth. Don’t settle for anything less.
I will end with this quote from Abraham-Hicks:
Worthiness is, “Consciously and deliberately guiding thought in order to be a steady receiver of the well-being that Source is showering down all around you.”